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Began 02/25/2001, restarted 07/23/2001

This was something I started around "Crush", and "IWMTLY" when there were rumors going on that Spike might be human by the end of the season. He wasn’t, but I decided to try, and finish this working around the existing story lines. So to that end this will be taking place during "Forever" while Angel is in Sunnydale for Joyce’s funeral. Difference being that Spike doesn’t know yet that Joyce has just died when the story begins and he becomes human unlike "Souled" which is set about the time of "Intervention", but without the Buffybot and the events with Glory and some time has passed since Joyce’s death. In this Joyce’s death is still raw and life changing for everyone. The PTB have decided that they need Spike human for the big battles ahead.
(For those of you following my other stories this was started around the same time as "Souled To Be", and "Another Life, and Then Some" if you are wondering about similar themes. Which were inspired by reading some of Saber Shadowkitten’s and Chelle’s, and other ‘Spike as human’ stories though most of those were set in earlier seasons of Buffy while this is firmly set in 5th. This will be taking a very different track then my others.)

Yes, this is a Buffy/Spike story. Angel is just visiting, and going away—far, far away.

Rated R for strong language, and imagery.

All the standard disclaimers to Joss, Mutant Enemy, and what ever Powers That Be rule the Buffy universe.

If you want to archive this just give me a holler at vbmacky1@yahoo.com


Part 1—The Visitors

        "Ohh god, Buffy, I want to drown in you…I want to feel inside of you…give it to me good baby," he moaned out loud in his sleep as he tossed, and turned, then bunched, and crushed the bed covers to himself imagining it was her in his lonely sheets he had trapped.. In his very vivid, surround sound and touch dream he had ‘his´ slayer exactly where he wanted her—in his bed, and his arms, and she was loving every moment of it—yeah, this was right, this was the way it was supposed to be…she wanted him, he knew she wanted him…and he wasn´t ever going to let her go—ever.

        "Hey, blondie, wakey wakey!" a voice yelled at him followed by a hard kick to his feet sending Spike falling off his bed on to the hard floor getting him instantly awake, and all of his senses on alert.

        "What the bloody soddin´ hell!" Spike yelled coming up angrily out of his dreams of him, and Buffy in bed together that he really wanted to get back to. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes to see his grandsire standing beside the bed along with a shorter guy with extremely bad taste in clothes, worse than even the soddin´ kid, Xander, which Spike hadn´t thought was possible. "Bloody hell, Angelus, what do you fuckin´ want?" he groaned in disgust at his unwelcome visitors. He was not at all happy with this invasion of his privacy—he really had to think about putting a lock on his door since everyone just barged in uninvited. At least Buffy wasn´t with them, he noted in relief.

        "Spike, we need to talk," Angel told him in no uncertain terms. His face dark, and unreadable.

        "Like hell. I have nothing I want to talk to you about so buzz off, and leave me the fuck alone," Spike growled at him sitting up, and reaching for his pack of cigarettes on the nightstand by the bed, and lighting one.

        "We do. It´s about Buffy," Angel told him.

        "What about her? Nothing´s bloody wrong is there with her?" he asked trying to stay calm, and keep the concern as well as the note of panic out of his voice at the mention of her name. He hoped it wasn´t a Glory alert. Something hadn´t happened to the Nibblet or Joyce? His mind began racing with all kinds of nasty possibilities.

        "Yes, and no. She just got through telling me about you, and your interest in her," Angel said angrily, his dark eyes boring down at the pale vampire getting to his feet and lighting a cigarette from his pack.

        He practically sighed in relief because it meant no one was in any eminent danger so far. "Ohh that. Well, that´s my bloody problem not yours. She doesn´t give a damn about me, and I´m bloody harmless, so what´s your bloody problem?" Spike asked him truthfully, eyeing his sire, and trying to figure out who, and what the guy with him was there for.

        "You are. I´d like to pound you into a bloody pulp for the stunt you pulled with Buffy when Drusilla was here, and getting Buffy all upset, but Whistler here won´t let me. It seems you´re off limits. It seems you have been chosen by the Powers That Be for greater things," Angel told him, grumbling a little and casting an irritated glance at his smirking companion.

        ‘Okay, that name he had heard before from both Angel and Buffy. The small human looking demon was a major go between for the soddin´ powers That Be. This was not good that he was here on his doorstep, so to speak. He only showed up for major changes, so this must be serious. "So you´re that Whistler chap that the Slayer mentioned that told her what to do to stop Angel here from ending the world?" Spike questioned, wanting to make sure he had heard correctly about the demon.

        "Yeph, that´s me. Figured that you wouldn´t take Angel telling you the good news, and seeing he has some issues with you I thought I´d better come tell you myself," Whistler told him.

        "Tell me what? Now what the hell is happening to my undead life? I´m not going to get a bloody soul like him, are I? That´d be bloody priceless on top of this soddin´ chip, really make my friggin´ day. I´ve turned into a soddin´ nancy boy enough as it is," Spike said glaring at Angel.

        "No, you´re to keep helping Buffy against Glory, and protect the Key."

        "I´m doing that already, so what´s the big deal?"

        "You have to give up your immortality, become mortal to do fight Glory," Whistler told him.

        "What? I don´t have a bloody choice? I have to become a bleedin´ mortal again? How is that going to bloody help? The Slayer needs strength, not a pathetic weakling by her side," Spike said, scared now at the prospect of losing the remaining reasons for his existence.

        "Even without vampiric strength you still have all your fighting skills."

        "So, that´s supposed to make me feel good. But I´d be minus super strength, reflexes, healing abilities, hearing, sight, and be more easily hurt. I´m not seeing that much on the plus side here," Spike told them, glaring meaningful at the demon who wasn´t put off in the least by Spike´s temper fit..

        "Okay I sweeten the deal, " he said, looking like he was listening to something before he continued. "On the plus side—you´d be able to walk in the sun, not turn into dust, and I´ll throw in your usual super strength, reflexes, and some of the healing. No more liquid diets, you´ll be one hundred percent human. The chip will also be gone," Whistler said, enjoying the vampire´s shock as well as Angel´s too. He hadn´t heard about the bonus pack the demon was willing to give the blond vampire.

        Angel was about to speak, and ask what was going on, but Spike spoke first. "Okay, and what´s the bloody catch? There has to be a catch. Why do these powers that be give a shit about a lowly vampire, especially about me in bloody particular. I´m nobody. Why aren´t you offering this lovely package deal to the big poof here? Why me, not him?´ Spike asked suspiciously looking back and forth between the two of them.

        "You are needed in the big fight down the line. Him--he´s getting his own deal. He´s got his own fight right now going in LA, that´s why he can´t help the slayer, but you can," Whistler explained, getting a glare from Angel who was liking this less and less.

        "Okay, but I´m not seeing any mention of a soul." Spike quipped, raising an eyebrow in question.

        "Don´t gotta, you all ready got it, Slick, had it for quite a while," the demon told him with a grin.

        "What?? You´re bloody putting me on. I don´t have a bleedin´ soul!" Spike protested angrily.

        "Sorry, but you do, Spike, my lad. Seems you got it back when you helped Buffy save the world from me. It started out as a small thing, but then it´s been growing, taking over the demon part of you. Then when you got the chip, and you started learning not to bite, and kill, it just took over more, and more. The only difference is that you don´t have all my guilt for your actions, but you do have conscience. Even though you´ve been trying to fight it, you still have been doing good rather than bad all these months," Angel smirked at him enjoying his discomfort.

        "It´s your bloody fault you know—you´re contagious—yeah, that´s what you are," Spike growled at his grandsire pointing a finger at him. "I never thought about helping humans until I came here, and got around you, and the Slayer. Then you messed up things between me, and Dru. You have thoroughly messed up my life, and now you and your friend want to do it some more?" Spike questioned, shaking his head and lighting up another cigarette as well as looking around for the bottle of Jack Daniels he thought might have a drink, or two in it. Right now he needed a drink—bad. He still couldn´t believe he had a soddin´ soul—no wonder he was such a mess inside now.

        "Not my choice. It´s theirs," Angel said grimly pointing upwards. "They think you´re warrior material, not me."

        "Yeah, right, I´m bloody warrior material—they´re off their nut, you know it? Is the Slayer going to know all this, or the Watcher? I´m sort of person-non-gradius to the whole bunch of Scoobies right now. Even the Nibblet isn´t speaking to me," Spike told them.

        "No, just the three of us. You have to ‘earn´ their trust again. That´s part of the deal too. Whether you let them in on your changes is up to you. But you make no mention of either of us being here, understood?" Whistler asked him.

        "Yeah, though I´m not sure why you want this all kept hush hush. But I´ll go along with it. Okay, do your Mojo, or whatever. Let´s get this over since I don´t seem to have a bleedin´ say any way," Spike said staring defiantly at both of them. Though inside he was actually jumping for joy at the idea of being human again, especially if he got to keep his strength, and abilities.

        "No, you don´t," Whistler agreed with a wide grin. He came over, and placed his hand on Spike bare chest right over his unbeating heart. He began mumbling in a language neither vampire understood. The hand on Spike´s chest began glowing brightly, spreading out until it encompassed the vampire´s entire body in its rainbow glow.

        Trapped within the light, unable to move, Spike could feel his body begin to change back, become alive again. He wasn´t sure how this miracle was being accomplished, but it was as he could feel blood running through his veins, his heart beating, his lungs taking on air, and breathing. Even his skin felt different to his awakened senses. He could feel hunger again, human hunger, not the blood lust he was used to as his stomach returned to normal. It seemed to take forever, but in reality it was only a short time before the transformation was complete. The light faded away and Spike slumped unconscious to the floor. Angel caught him before he could hit his head and sat him down in his worn arm chair.

        "So he´s human now. Are we going to stay around until he wakes up?" Angel asked.

        "Nope, just let him sleep. He´s going need it. You got the envelope?" Whistler asked him.

        "Yeah, ten thousand in cash to start him off, and a bank book. What´s to say he won´t blow it all on booze, and whatever right off the bat?" Angel asked the demon as he laid the envelope on Spike´s bare stomach watching it rise and fall with his breathing.

        "That too, is one of his tests, Laddy. To see what he does with this new life that has been given him. The same as you will have choices too when you become human again. He´s come a very long way all on his own in a very short time with no help, no guidance to speak of. His only guide while he was a vampire has been his heart, and a willingness to do the right thing when the chips were down for those he cares about. You may not like him being in Buffy´s life, but he is helping her grow too, changing her as she changes him. You started her on her path, but he will be the one with her at the end. Because he fell in love with her he was willing to change, to be a better man than he had even been when he was living before. Not even you were able to do that with your soul. I know you are still having a hard time accepting this, but they are bound together in ways you only thought you were with her."

        "Damn right I am having a hard time with it. He´s still a bastard, and I think the Powers fucked up this time. He´s no hero, no warrior. He´s all show, and big mouth. He´ll never be what you think he is," Angel told him still unconvinced this was a good thing.

        "We will all see. And I think you have to go see Buffy. She´s waiting for you not far from here," the demon reminded him cocking his head up at the taller one.

        "Yeah, I know I can feel her, and her pain. I still don´t understand why Joyce had to die. It´s so wrong and unfair for not only Buffy, but her sister, and everyone. Especially now with this Glory business," Angel said sadly worrying how Buffy was going to make it through this personal crisis.

        "It seems so now, but there are reasons. It was just something that had to be for larger events to happen. She´s cool with it. She understands why now. She will always be around watching her girls. She is so proud of her daughter, and she even likes this one too. She´s happy he did decide to stick around because she knows he´ll help keep everyone safe. As to you, she´s forgiven you, but that´s all she´ll say," Whistler relayed as if listening to an unspoken conversation.

        Angel could feel a presence briefly then it was gone as if it had almost been his imagination. "I´m going. You hanging here, or what?" he asked heading for the door.

        "I´m leaving. I came to do what I needed to. And you will do what you have to too. I got my own way back so I´m cool. Nice doing business with you, Angel. See you around," Whistler said, and it looked like a door in the fabric of reality opened and the badly dressed demon stepped through and was gone followed by the door.

        Angel shook his head, and took one last look at his grandchilde, watching the now human man´s chest rise, and fall in sleep. "I hope you treat your gift of life better than I did, and you treat her good too. Goodbye, Lazaras," he told him as he opened the door, and stepped into the night to go find Buffy.

End Part 1



Buffy Short Stories

Buffy Novels (or long ones in progress)

Angel the Series Stories

Art Work 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

The Vampire's of Buffy

Angel Animated Gifts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Buffy Animated Gifts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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Vickey Brickle-Macky @ vbmacky1@yahoo.com